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A Welchman, an Irishman, an Englishman and a Glaswegian...
Giez a joab
The Jennifer, chairwoman of a well known chain of stores, had the task of hiring someone to fill the vacancy of Chief Executive. After sorting through a stack of resumes she found four people equally qualified. She then called the four in and asked them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.
The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table, she asked, 'What is the fastest thing you know of?'
The Welshman replied, 'A THOUGHT.' It just pops into your head. There's no warning. 'That's very good!' replied Jennifer.
'And, now you sir?', she asked the Irish man. 'Hmmm...let me see 'A blink! It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know of.' 'Excellent!' said Jennifer. 'The blink of an eye, that's a very popular cliche for speed.'
She then turned to the English man, who was contemplating his reply. 'Well, out at my dad's property, you step out of the house and on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light on the barn comes on in less than an instant. 'Yep,TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of'.
Jennifer was very impressed with the third answer and thought she had found her man.
'It 's hard to beat the speed of light,' she said. Turning to Wee Jimmy, who was looking very pensive and forlorn, in the corner, Jennifer posed the same question.
Jimmy replied, 'After hearing the previous three answers, it's obvious to me that the fastest thing known is DIARRHEA.'
'WHAT !?' said Jennifer, stunned by the response. 'Oh sure', said Jimmy. 'You see, the other day I wasn't feeling so good, and I ran for the bathroom, but before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I had already s**t myself..'