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"Heaven seems vera little improvement on Glesca" a Glasgow man is said to have murmured after his death to a friend who had predeceased him. "Laddie, this is nae Heaven," the other replied.
"Heaven seems vera little improvement on Glesca" a Glasgow man is said to have murmured after his death to a friend who had predeceased him. "Laddie, this is nae Heaven," the other replied.
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Jimmy was walking across the suspension bridge on the Clyde when he saw a man about to jump into the water. Jimmy tried to stop him by suggesting he should think of his family. "I dinna have a family" was the response. "Well, think about Rangers" but the man was not a Rangers supporter. "Well think about Celtic then." But he was not a Celtic supporter either. "Och in that case," said Jimmy, "Jump, ye atheist."
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The only plumber in Glasgow to charge reasonable fees died and was sent to Hell by mistake. Eventually it was realised in Heaven that there was an honest Glaswegian plumber in the wrong place so Saint Peter telephoned (on the hot line) to Satan. "Have you got an honest plumber there?" "Yes." "He's ours, so can you send him up?" "You can't have him!" "Why not?" "Because he's the only one who understands air conditioning. It's really cool down here now." "Send him up at once," shouted Saint Peter, "or we'll sue." "You'll sue?" laughed the voice at the other end. "And where will you get hold of a lawyer in Heaven?"