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Tartan Footprint helps you connect and share with Scottish people in your life.
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Scottish Jokes
A woman goes to the Doctor in Glasgow, worried about her husband's temper and threatening manner.



The Doc asks: "What's the problem, Janet?
The woman says: "Weeell Doctor Cameron, I dinae know what to d...
Scottish Jokes
One Christmas Eve, three Glesga Guys died and approached the Pearly Gates.
St. Peter said, "OK, if you each can come up with something related to
Christmas I'll let you in."

The first Glesga Guy takes ou...
Scottish Jokes
Sandy is in charge of handing out the contract to renovate the company's Edinburgh offices. So he invites the three leading contractors, one Welsh, one English and one Scot, that are all competing to ...
Amanda Moffet
Jacquie Mackay
Brilliant, Think I'll move to Burntisland!!!
Amanda Moffet
Scottish Jokes
Jock is sitting reading his Daily Record newspaper when
his wife sneaks up behind him and whacks him on the head with a frying pan.

Whit wis that fur?' he cries.

'That wis for the piece of paper in yir t...
Scottish Jokes
Looking over a farmyard wall the other day, I saw a huge pig with a wooden leg. Intrigued, I sought out the farmer and said "I have just seen your pig with a wooden leg, it must mean a lot to you to h...
Amanda Moffet
Scottish Jokes
It's tough to get old...

A recent study by a Scottish university claims that elderly people who drink whisky, beer or wine at least four times a week have the highest bone density.

The report goes on to...
Scottish Jokes
The only plumber in Glasgow to charge reasonable fees died and was sent to Hell by mistake. Eventually it was realised in Heaven that there was an honest Glaswegian plumber in the wrong place so Saint...
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